Massachusetts Estate Planning & Asset Protection Blog

Discuss These Estate Plan Topics With Your Children

Posted by Wellesley Estate Planning Attorney, Dennis B. Sullivan, Esq., CPA, LLM on Thu, Jun 07, 2012


From Your Smart Money Moves (May 31, 2012) “What Four Estate Planning Things Parents Should Tell Their Children”

1. Who is the executor of the estate?  If you have a will set up, it’s important to tell which child or children are the executors of your estate.  Inevitably, they should know where is your will is stored.  It is in a safe deposit box?  It is somewhere at the house?  Or, what’s the name of the attorney that has the will on file?  As the executors of the estate, they’re the ones that are going to be responsible for the orderly administration of all of your assets.  So it’s important to at least let them know that they are the executors. Sometimes, kids don’t want this responsibility. This doesn’t mean you need to talk about how much money you have, but you should be able to let them know that they will be the ones that will be helping to administer the estate down the road.

Estate Planning, Family, Loved One, Asset Protection, Long-Term Care2. What’s the game plan for long term care?  This is one that parents will avoid all day long due to the challenging nature of the question.  Many parents that hit the age of 60, 65, or 70, may or may not have nursing home insurance.  If they don’t have long term care insurance, one of the questions they should be discussing with you is who might be available to help in the future.  Sometimes, the kids want to pay for long term care insurance if in fact the parents cannot afford it themselves.  You may think it’s your middle daughter or you may think it’s going to be your youngest son that will take care of you.  The kids may have thoughts themselves about who’s going to do what or worse yet they may have not talked at all.  So it’s important to have some discussion that if something happens your children have some idea of how the chain of command and responsibilities will roll down at that time.  I had an uncle of mine that unfortunately went into a nursing home and wiped out their entire financial situation.  This is a quality discussion to have as a family.

3. Advanced Medical Directive / Living Will?  You should talk to your kids about whether you have a living will or an advanced medical directive as part of your overall estate planning.  Letting your children know these types of things and if you are an organ donor can at least prepare your children for your wishes somewhere down the road.  You may be uncertain about your wishes if you had some tragic situation that actually put you on some sort of thing that’s keeping your life going.  And if you’ve already pre-made decisions about what’s going to happen, that would be an important thing to share with them.

4. Where Is Everything Located?  I’ve yet to see someone pass away without the family having to deal with some level of mystery on where documents, collectibles, or bank accounts are located.  With today’s technology, getting your finances organized in an electronic account aggregation type software or at least collecting all of your documents in one place with instructions on where everything is located will be important for your children.   Often, families can have a major struggle over personal possessions especially if one member of the family has more knowledge than another including brothers and sisters as well as children.  The goal of doing this isn’t to share your financial picture, but merely give your family a go to person or a location so things can be sorted out easily in the event of a premature death.

As a parent you don’t have to discuss money, your net worth, or what’s happening with your overall budget.  Many parents don’t want to be a burden on their children or they don’t want their children counting on a future inheritance.   Make sure to discuss with your kids these important points so at least they can take the opportunity to discuss and plan their own lives to best support you and your overall estate plan.

For more information on estate planning, asset protection, and elder law we invite you to attend one of our free Trust, Estate, and Asset Protection Workshops.  Register online at or by calling (800) 964-4295 (24/7).  At the Estate Planning & Asset Protection Law Center we help families protect what matters most: their spouse, home, and life savings, from the rising cost of medical and nursing home care.  Did you know that resaerch shows that 86% of estate plans DO NOT WORK.  Research conducted by a colleague with more than 30,000 clients demonstrated the need to review plans.  To help people evaluate the areas in which an existing plan meets a family’s goals and objectives and where significant problems may exist we have developed the 19-Point Trust, Estate & Asset Protection Guide


Tags: asset protection, long term care, Estate Planning, Estate Planning, probate, elder care, gift tax, estate tax, estate tax savings, family, power of attorney, executor, disinherit, Beneficiary, Estate Planning Tip, estate, gifts

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