Massachusetts Estate Planning & Asset Protection Blog

Unequal Inheritance, A Problem with Communication

Posted by Massachusetts Estate Planning & Elder Law Attorney, Dennis B. Sullivan, Esq., CPA, LLM on Fri, Aug 22, 2014

The Problems with Unequal Inheritance | Massachusetts Estate Planning Attorney

Inheritance, family, unequal 

Just Because It Makes Sense to You…

Sometimes clients want to leave more to one of their children than another. Their reasons may vary, ranging from their child’s current financial wellbeing, to any special needs they may have or even which of their kids is their favorite. What does not seem to change though is their concern that this may cause discord in their family once they find out.

It can be an uncomfortable subject to talk about with your family and you can never be certain how people will react, but the alternative of finding out only after their loved one has already passed, can be far more devastating. The reasons you use to make the decision of who-gets-what may be perfectly clear to you, but your children may not know what you based your decision on and they will never get a chance to ask you about it. The emotional fallout from this can rip once close-knit families apart.


Money Does Not Equal Love

This is because of the often mistaken tendency to equate love and money. If you leave more money to one of your children their siblings may think that you loved them more. After all, if you had some sort of logical reasoning behind the decision, why wouldn’t you have simply told them? You may have had very good reasons for why you did not talk to your children about this before but the lack of communication can have devastating effects on your family once you are gone.


Explanations Make Everything Easier

For example, you leave three quarters of your estate to your youngest child but only one quarter to your oldest, but you still make them the executor of your will. The older child will have a hard time not feeling resentment towards their sibling and their new responsibilities without any explanation from you. Simply explaining your reasons can go a long way towards preventing a bitter legal fight once you are gone. We recommend sitting down with all parties and explaining your reasoning to them in person. However, we know that not all families are comfortable talking about money, in those cases we recommend leaving a detailed letter explaining your reasons why you divided your estate the way you did.

Expanding on the earlier example, you may have decided to name your oldest child as executor simply because you know it will be more convenient for them to meet with your estate planner since your younger child has moved several hours away for work. Just telling your child this will lighten the burden on them. Likewise, you may have left more of your estate to your youngest because they need the boost starting their own business or because you know their financial situation isn’t as strong and they may need some help. A simple explanation can prevent a lot of needless stress from ever arising in your family.  



At the Estate Planning & Asset Protection Law Center, we help people and their families learn how to protect their home, spouse, life-savings, and legacy for their loved ones.  We provide clients with a unique educational and counseling approach so they understand where opportunities exist to eliminate problems now as they implement plans for a protected future.

We encourage you to attend one of our free educational workshops, call 800-964-4295 and register to learn more about what you can do to enhance the security of your spouse, home, life savings and legacy.


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Tags: family, executor, will, Wills, Massachusetts, senior, children, unequal, Inheritance

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